“I’m having sex with my brother’s wife”

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Dear Love Doctor,

I have a very big problem. Please I need your advice. I am a single father (divorcee). I fell in love with my brother’s wife and we are into a serious relationship. But the problem we have now is that the husband is still alive. I don’t know what to do as we cannot get married and cannot part, for we’ve gone a long way. It is like charm but I’ve searched all through and seen that it is a true love and she cannot do without me. We are confused.



Email: ejikecolumbuss@gmail.com

Love Doctor’s Advice:

Dear Ejike,

Don’t kill your brother because you desire his wife. It is simply not right.

I think you may have lost your sense of direction and you need to retrace your steps immediately. You need to see a psychologist/counselor, or your priest/spiritual director for counseling and also pray to God to help you.

That’s because dating a married woman/man is wrong and worse still, you appear to be so obsessed with your brother’s wife that the fact that her husband (your brother) is still alive appears unbearable to you. However, even if that woman is no longer interested in her marriage to your brother, she can divorce him. No one needs to die because of your illicit relationship.

How did you “search to know that what you feel for your brother’s wife is true love and that she cannot do without you”? Your statement sounds very childish and immature. Please don’t think that a married woman or any woman for that matter can’t do without you, especially when she has a husband and children. Besides, true love takes time, and it is only when it stands the test of time that it will truly become acceptable as true love.

Your relationship with that woman appears sweet and intoxicating to you right now probably because you’re having sex with each other in secret. But if both of you were given the freedom to be with each other without pretenses, and with all the attendant responsibilities, stress, and financial pressure of marriage and having and raising children, you might probably quickly find that you’re both incompatible and breakup. So you better stop sleeping with your brother’s wife because love and marriage is not a child’s play.

What you most probably feel for your brother’s wife is lust and infatuation, and that’s because you allowed yourself to fall into such an unnecessary temptation which you could easily have resisted, knowing fully well that she is your brother’s wife and therefore you’re not supposed to touch her.

In many cases this kind of thing happens when a man is staying with his brother’s family under the same roof. Do you live with your brother and his wife/family in the same house? If you’re living with your brother and his family, I would advise you to relocate immediately.

You need to find your own woman because that woman is already taken. If she is truly meant for you, or if she is truly destined to marry you, she won’t be married to your brother. Stop dating a married woman and look for your own wife. Leave your brother’s wife alone because she belongs to your brother and don’t carry a curse on your head. Find your own woman; and don’t be worried about finding your own woman, because what is truly yours from God will definitely come to you in due course of time..

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