“My husband’s mistress changed my life”

I have always heard people say that men will be men. But I never knew that my husband would act...

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I have always heard people say that men will be men. But I never knew that my husband would act like a typical married man who cheats on his wife.

I have enough evidence, short of a photograph of him and his mistress in bed together, to prove that my husband has been cheating on me.

I am no longer a child but a grown woman. I’m a 38-year-old woman and I thought that I could handle this discovery of my husband’s infidelity better because of my level of maturity.

However, at this moment, I am going through different phases of depression, shock, extreme disappointment, and feelings of resentment towards my husband.

Since he is a very good medical doctor, my husband managed to get a job abroad. Through his success in his medical practice abroad, he was also able to bring some of his brothers and sisters abroad.

However, some of my husband’s brothers who weren’t fortunate enough to bring their families overseas with them, succumbed to the temptation of being with other women. Two of them have already broken their families in the process.

My husband was always very critical of those his brothers who had broken homes. According to him, no responsible man would have a broken home.

Therefore, I would never have believed if anyone had told me that my husband would ever become unfaithful towards me, because he knew the implication. He knew that infidelity in marriage could lead to a broken home.

When my husband got a job in the U.S., he took me and our three children along. We lived together in New Jersey where he worked for about 10 years until my husband suddenly started having nostalgic feelings.

He woke me up from sleep one night and said: “Martha, I’m seriously thinking of returning to Nigeria.” “Why?” I asked him. “Because there is no place like home,” he said.

My husband advised that I return to the country to buy a piece of land in order to build a house for the family, while he would remain in the U.S. and be sending me money both for the construction of the family house and for the upkeep of myself and the children.

So I returned to the country according to my husband’s advice. I bought a piece of land in a choice location and began to build a house. My husband promised to visit us regularly.

However, I started to suspect my husband of cheating around 3 years ago.

When my husband first visited us in the country, he used to come straight to the house to sleep. But later on, he started acting strangely whenever he visited.

For example, when he visited last April, he didn’t let me come and pick him at the airport. Before he boarded the plane from the U.S., he called me and said there was no point for me coming to the airport to wait for him. He insisted that I stay at home to take care of the children because he could find his way home by himself.

To my further surprise, my husband checked into a hotel first on arrival, instead of coming straight to the house where I and the children were.

From the hotel, my husband traveled to Abuja and came back two weeks later with an apology. He claimed to have gone on a very important business trip. According to him, it was for a business which demanded his immediate attention the moment he arrived the country.

“My dear, oil and gas business is like that,” my husband had said to me. “It demands your instant and total attention.”

I forgave him even though I knew he was lying, but I didn’t forget. Days later, I started getting reports from people who claimed they had seen my husband on several occasions at the same hotel with a particular lady.

So I dropped by the hotel unexpectedly. I caught him having drinks with a lady, whom he introduced to me as his “business partner.”

That day, I let the issue of his infidelity rest without making any trouble. Three days later, my husband returned to America.

Approximately six months ago, he visited Nigeria again and I suspected he was still seeing that particular woman. On my way to a popular mall called Justrite on a weekend afternoon, I recognized his car on the road.

I stopped and watched from a safe distance. About five minutes later, my husband appeared and entered his car with that same woman I had seen with him at the hotel.

He turned on the engine and turned the car around. The way he was now taking showed that they were headed towards the hotel. I forgot about what I wanted to buy at the mall and followed them from a safe distance.

Trailing my husband and his mistress broke my heart. And I wept in my car as I secretly followed them to the hotel. While my husband drove into the hotel, I parked my car outside the hotel to avoid detection and sneaked into the hotel.

I managed to conceal myself until my husband and his mistress had gone into one of the rooms in the hotel. Then I bribed the hotel staff to tell me the number of the room in which they were lodged.

After getting the room number, I went and knocked on the door of their room. The first time I knocked, there was no answer, so I knocked harder. “Who is that,” came a male voice from inside the room. It was obviously my husband.

I pretended as if I was a member of the hotel staff who had come to give them free drinks. So, using a fake voice, I said: “The hotel manager sent me to give you free drinks in appreciation of your patronage.”

“Oh that’s good,” came my husband’s voice from inside the room. Not knowing it was me, he opened the door to receive the so-called free drinks.

Immediately my husband opened the door, I pushed him out of my way and forced myself into the room. I saw the lady naked on the bed and pounced on her instantly. It was a big fight.

I had a shoe in my hand and I hit her with it, and she fought back. But what pained me most was that she mocked and insulted me as she fought back.

For example, after I had slapped her the first time, I tried to slap her again, but she held my hand and asked me: “When was the last time you had sex with your husband? When last were you intimate with your so-called husband? Are you even sure he is still your husband?”

Her words stung me. It was like a sword had pierced my heart. But everything she had said was the truth. Even though the hotel staff threw my husband’s mistress out of the hotel, I went home that day feeling guilty.

The fact was that after I had given birth to our last child, I practically stopped having sex with my husband. I refused to let him touch me on most occasions and I didn’t care about his feelings.

I realized that my husband had taken a mistress for himself because I had neglected him instead of fulfilling my duty as a good wife to sexually satisfy my husband.

I realized that my husband’s mistress had done me good in the sense that she had at least told me the truth about the problem I had created in my marriage. And that realization made me resolve to change for the better. Her taunting words literally changed my life.

I now do everything expected of a good wife to please her husband. And I’m glad that my husband now looks much happier than he ever was and spends more time with me indoors whenever he visits, rather than going on suspicious outings and fake business trips.

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