‘It’s my phone, keep off’, REALLY! – Ify Aronu

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HE steps out for a moment and there’s the phone, prefect time to take a quick peek and no one would ever know, right? Phone in hand, she starts with the messages, scanning through, very quickly, to get to suspicious ones. Call it snooping or even invasion of privacy. Who cares? The urge is simply irresistible especially when there’s that nagging feeling your partner harbours secrets in his phones. It may be the best opportunity to open the warehouse.

There are many reasons why going through your partner’s phone isn’t advisable. A popular comedian recently said he prevents his wife from accessing his phone so she doesn’t have a heart attack. Forget the attempt at evoking humour and give it some thought, you may find that it is best to avoid the trauma of confirming your worst fears, or isn’t it? Could knowing the truth be much better than being consciously ignorant?

I know many people wouldn’t contemplate perusing their partners’ phones not because they can’t but as a matter of principle. Cool, if you can be like that. You fall into this class for either of two reasons: complete trust or stark fear. Total confidence in your partners can mean that you may never consider it necessary to take a peek through their phones. But when there’s lack of trust given previous hurts or strong suspicion that your present partner may be playing you for a big fool, the fear of long-term disappointment may trigger snooping. In this wise, it’s best to find out earlier, address issues in time and avoid falling and failing hard yet again.

But what’s the big deal about going through your partner’s phone once in a while? Many actually think they are entitled to knowing their partner’s phone password as a sign of openness and total commitment. I think that people who are truly and deeply in love should be free to look through the other’s phone at will, and vice versa. Still, some people selfishly relish perusing other people’s phones but there are some they remain exclusive. You let them go through your phone but if you attempt doing same with theirs, they turn vicious and remind you sternly that they need their privacy.

However, not granting your partner phone access may be dangerous depending on the level of jealousy playing out. It is not uncommon to hear of cases where a partner reserves access to their phone only for big issues to arise in the relationship or marriage. It was in the news some time ago how a newly married woman set her home on fire because she suspected most phone calls by her husband were to his concubine. The woman herself, her husband and unborn baby lost their lives in the inferno.

We may never know for sure what really happened but reports had it that the man was in contact with a certain woman who owed him a lot of money. His wife erroneously thought it was an extra marital affair and choose to end it all. No one knows if she ever tried confirming facts from her husband. In such a situation, could openness have averted such a sad ending for the young family? It is however important to note that nothing whatsoever justifies the woman’s action since death solves nothing.

Being with someone whom you can’t freely share deep things with is a total waste of time. Free phone access among couples can go a long way in assuring of trust and commitment. I think that being with the one person you love and trust makes things easier. When the right arms are wrapped around you, not only would you offer your phone, everything else too. But If you still can’t grant your partner access to your phone, you might want to concentrate on updating the skeletons in your cupboard of secrets.

If you still think your phone is exclusive and with good reasons, let’s hear your take, write me! Ciao

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