‘We have sex but he doesn’t love me’

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Dear Love Doctor,

I’m presently in a relationship with a guy who has been a good friend to me from my secondary school days. We have sex but the problem is that I love him but he doesn’t love me. He always says that he likes me as a friend but that he isn’t in love with me. I’ve tried to use sex to make him love me but it isn’t working. What do I do?


From Grace.

Love Doctor’s Advice:

Dear Grace,

He isn’t lying to you. That’s a good thing. He doesn’t love you and he isn’t telling you he does to get what he wants from you. He also likely isn’t going to fall in love with you. Ever. It’s always better for you to hear the truth.

I’m not going to say that he’s using you because I think he may truly see you as a friend, otherwise he would be telling you what you want to hear to get what he wants out of you. Remember, what you are doing with him, you are doing of your own free will. So you are also to blame. But if you think having sex with him will make him love you. It won’t.

My suggestion is that you stop having sex with him. You are hurting yourself unnecessarily by having sex with your friend who you are in love with. Move on. Sex is great fun. It feels good. And it is possible to have sex with your friends without it meaning anything other than both of you wanted to have fun with each other.

However for you, this isn’t just harmless fun. But for him, it is harmless fun. And that’s why you feel so disheartened. So I would advise you to forget him and move on. You can stay just friends with him if you like, but stop having sex with him for your own good.

Remember that you have control over your future and present. So please, for the sake of your self respect and dignity move on and learn from your mistake. You are worthy of love, respect and affection. Don’t be an object for anyone to satisfy their physical needs. Please be careful with that guy.. I believes that guy is treating you as an entertaining object in the name of friendship.

Don’t run after people who are not worthy in your life. There are lot more people available in this world. Learn to love those who love you a lot, understands you a lot and care about you a lot. Love people who are also there with you in any situation.

Don’t overthink and don’t think about your past. Think in a way that from now onwards there will be a new beginning in your life. In so doing, you will leave that guy and be happy. And then you will get a good guy who understands, cares and loves you. God bless you.

*Do you have advice on this problem? Please share your thoughts. Call 07031028714 or 08131161840. Email: ireto007@yahoo.com

Comment on last week’s relationship story titled: “I find it hard to trust my boyfriend”.
It is never an easy walk but it is a neccesity.when you hold on to the past you won’t know when the right future will walk pass.we learn from the past and visit the past when needful and to get the best out of the future you have to learn to trust and let off your fear for the uncertainties of relationship.
From Ihemere Chinemerem

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